Day 17

Inner Narrative Pleasing God

We just noted some attitudes we may strengthen to replace self-directed rotten attitudes. Paul exhorted the Ephesians to be kind and compassionate towards each other. As we’ve uncovered, we are called to be kind and compassionate in the way we speak to ourselves, and about ourselves.

As in all fallen, sinful behavior patterns, we are called to stop it, turn around, and, instead, start doing something else. Here are the two verses we were visiting.

³¹ All bitterness, and rage, and wrath, and clamor, and abusive speech, must be removed from you, together with all wickedness. ³² Become kind toward one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as also God in [the Messiah] has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31–32 Lexham English Bible)

Today we’re moving on to the last attribute in this verse. It is translated, forgiving. I think there is an attitude beneath the surface that might prove helpful.

Let’s concentrate upon maintaining a forgiving attitude towards ourselves.

Become … Forgiving

We should forgive each other. We’ve been commanded to do so. I find it interesting that the only other time we find the word forgive in Ephesians is in Ephesians 1:7 where we find the word aphiēmi.

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness (aphiēmi) of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace (Ephesians 1:7)

Aphiēmi is the word commonly used in the New Testament to communicate forgiveness. It can be used judicially without any emotional content. However, what we discover in Ephesians 4:32 is a completely different word. These two words are unrelated. In Ephesians 4 a word is used which indicates that Paul is calling for the believers to show goodwill towards each other

The Greek, charizomai, is seldom used in the New Testament. In this verse it is used twice. It has the word charis in its root. Charis means favor and is usually translated, grace. Paul was telling the Ephesians to be favorably (graciously) disposed towards one another because God was manifestly favorable towards them in the Messiah. I wouldn’t ask you to take my word for this. I’m not a scholar. However, I did find some scholarly backup for this in the English Dictionary of the New Testament (EDNT). There we find this:

… it seems questionable whether Eph 4:32 is speaking of forgiveness … since the context is concerned not with guilt but with kindness and compassion. (EDNT)

It is a display of favor from one person to another.

Gal 3:18 uses the vb. In the sense of a show of favor on the part of the person granting an inheritance (EDNT)

Just to make certain that I’m giving you a complete picture, this word is used to convey forgiveness in Luke 7. The Lord said,

 “When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave (charizomai) them both. So which of them will love him more?”

Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave (charizomai) more.”  (Luke 7:42–43a)

This is found within the context of a controversy the Messiah caused when He forgave a penitent, heartbroken woman of her sins. Later in the chapter, describing the same interaction, we find the word aphiēmi four times. This is parallel to charizomai employed earlier.

“For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven (aphiēmi), for she loved much; but he who is forgiven (aphiēmi) little, loves little.” Then He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven (aphiēmi).”

Those who were reclining at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives (aphiēmi) sins?” (Luke 7:47–49)

We are called to be favorably disposed towards one another to the degree that we forgive those who trespass against us.

If that is so, it is not a big leap to realize that we are called to forgive ourselves, too. We are to deliberately be favorably disposed towards ourselves in our self-talk. We need God’s help for this, and so we echo David’s prayer:

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

The content of your inner-narrative needs to have this as a goal. Because you believe that it pleases God, you are to encourage yourself. Let’s briefly review these helpful descriptions of an inner-narrative that gives God’s presence pleasure.

Your inner demeanor is to be deliberately kind, helpful, compassionate, and favorable towards yourself.

Let’s reinforce this.

Your soul exists in the manifest presence of the King. In His presence, one thing that needs to be rejected is self-directed resentment, or anger

I believe that many have unresolved anger towards themselves because of things they’ve done, mistakes they’ve made, and things left undone. We should all seek to give God’s presence pleasure by resolving these matters.

To help us do this, let’s take a look at the history of Joseph and his admonition to his brothers.

Joseph

Briefly, Joseph had ten older brothers who hated him. They sold him into slavery and told his father that he was dead.

Joseph’s life resembled a cycle of exaltation and suffering.

Going up: He was his father’s favorite child.

Going down: He was rejected, betrayed, thrown in a pit and sold as a slave.

Going up: Joseph became a privileged steward.

Going down: He was falsely accused and imprisoned.

Going up: He became highly favored in the jail and interpreted prophetic dreams to important people.

Going down: Joseph was forgotten, neglected, and remained in prison.

Going up, up, up, up…: Joseph was exalted to the right hand of Pharaoh.

Then, Joseph got married, saved the region from starvation, consolidated Pharaoh’s authority, and provided for his family of origin. He was reconciled to his brothers, reunited with his father, Jacob, the most favored man on the planet. Jacob gave him a privileged position and a double portion when he blessed Joseph’s two sons.

On the other hand, his brothers were moral and emotional messes. We read in the intervening chapters of some examples of godly character development. However, overall, they lived with guilt, regret, deception, mutual recrimination, and tension. (Genesis 42:21–22)

Earlier in Genesis Joseph’s brother, Judah, was exposed as a hypocrite and was transformed as a result of his humiliation. It is a sordid story with a good outcome (Genesis 38:24–26). Later in his life (Genesis 43) Judah was prepared to sacrificially offer himself up on behalf of his family (Genesis 43:8–9).

When Joseph was revealed as alive, and their family’s benefactor, these brothers were humiliated, frightened, and angry with themselves. Here is what Joseph said to them:

“Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. (Genesis 45:5)

These words, grieved or angry, are the words that described these men’s murderous rage when they determined to avenge their family’s honor.

Now the sons of Jacob came in from the field when they heard it; and the men were grieved, and they were very angry because he had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter, for such a thing ought not to be done. (Genesis 34:7)

Being grieved at ourselves because of what we have done, or did not do, is an emotion as old as humanity. Being angry with ourselves accompanies that grief. Joseph’s counsel was that they stop it and adopt a faith-filled perspective.

Joseph was favorably disposed towards his brothers. He forgave each of them. He forgave all of them.

At times we may be grieved or angry with ourselves. When that happens let’s take Joseph’s advice. It will give God’s presence pleasure.

Be favorably disposed towards yourself. Do not allow the sun to go down on any self-directed anger.

Here are the verses we’ve examined:

³¹ All bitterness, and rage, and wrath, and clamor, and abusive speech, must be removed from you, together with all wickedness. ³² Become kind toward one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as also God in [the Messiah] has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31–32 Lexham English Bible)

Let’s  turn away from self-directed bitterness, rage, wrath, clamor, and slander. Let us identify and reject all self-sabotaging motivations. As we do, we continue to construct a dwelling place for God in our souls that both blesses Him and opens us up to knowing Him like He wants to be known.

Stop. Turn. Go in the other direction.

Pray:

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit. (Psalm 51:10–12)

Along these lines, pray again:

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Verses Cited:

Then they said to one another, “Truly we are guilty concerning our brother, because we saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us, yet we would not listen; therefore this distress has come upon us.” Reuben answered them, saying, “Did I not tell you, ‘Do not sin against the boy’; and you would not listen? Now comes the reckoning for his blood.” (Genesis 42:21–22)

Now it was about three months later that Judah was informed, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the harlot, and behold, she is also with child by harlotry.” Then Judah said, “Bring her out and let her be burned!” It was while she was being brought out that she sent to her father-in-law, saying, “I am with child by the man to whom these things belong.” And she said, “Please examine and see, whose signet ring and cords and staff are these?” Judah recognized them, and said, “She is more righteous than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not have relations with her again. (Genesis 38:24–26)

Judah said to his father Israel, “Send the lad with me and we will arise and go, that we may live and not die, we as well as you and our little ones. “I myself will be surety for him; you may hold me responsible for him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame before you forever. (Genesis 43:8–9)